Almost nobody asks this about themselves. They ask it about a partner, a mother, a manager, and underneath it there is a more concrete question: will this get better if I wait?
This article answers both. The short answer is that “cure” is the wrong word for what is at stake, and that the useful question depends on whether you are talking about a trait or a disorder. The longer answer, and the one that usually matters, is about what you can do in the meantime.
Key points
- A personality trait is not a disease that gets cured. It flexes over time and context, or it does not
- For narcissistic personality disorder, the clinical literature talks about treatment and symptom management, not a cure (Cleveland Clinic)
- The supported approaches are psychotherapeutic and long term; no medication treats the disorder directly (MSD Manual)
- The result depends on the involvement of the person themselves, and dropping out of treatment is common
- For anyone living with the dynamic, the available work is different, and it does not depend on the other person changing
On this page
- Trait or disorder: why the answer changes
- Can narcissistic personality disorder be cured?
- What treatment can do
- Why people with NPD rarely seek treatment
- Living with the dynamic
- Frequently asked questions
- About the author
Trait or disorder: why the answer changes
In common use, narcissism is a personality trait: a tendency to put yourself at the centre, to need recognition to stay steady, to have sustained difficulty with someone else’s point of view. It is distributed across the population, in varying degrees, as covered in what narcissism is.
Traits are not diseases, so “cure” does not apply to them. A trait can flex: with maturity, with therapy, with a relationship that demands something different from the person, with a setback that makes them review how they have been operating. Or it can fail to flex. What does not happen is it being “cured”, because it was not an infection.
Narcissistic personality disorder is a different category. The DSM-5-TR, the diagnostic manual of the American Psychiatric Association, classifies it among the personality disorders: a pattern persistent from early adulthood, present across different contexts, with real impairment in functioning. It is this picture the question about a cure usually concerns, even when the person asking does not use the technical name.
Can narcissistic personality disorder be cured?
The answer the clinical literature supports is: it is not framed as a cure. It is framed as treatment and symptom management (Cleveland Clinic).
The difference is not only vocabulary. “Cure” implies an endpoint: you complete the treatment, it is over, the person goes back to who they would have been without the picture. With personality disorders, the aim is something else: reduce the impairment, make symptoms more manageable, improve the quality of relationships and functioning. The outlook varies with the type and severity of the symptoms and with other conditions present at the same time, such as anxiety or depression (Cleveland Clinic).
It is worth being wary of any text that answers this question with a clean “yes” or a clean “no”. Both extremes sell certainty about something the literature itself treats with caution.
What treatment can do
Treatment for the disorder is psychotherapeutic, and usually long term. The approaches cited most often:
- Psychodynamic psychotherapy, which the MSD Manual describes as possibly effective, focusing on the person’s primary conflicts (MSD Manual).
- Mentalisation-based treatment, which works on the capacity to recognise one’s own mental states and those of others (MSD Manual).
- Cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behaviour therapy and group therapy, also listed as options (Cleveland Clinic).
There is no medication that treats narcissistic personality disorder directly. Where medication is used, it is for co-occurring conditions such as anxiety or depression, not for the picture itself (Cleveland Clinic).
One thing no treatment gets around: the result depends on the involvement of the person themselves. Personality-focused therapy is not a procedure applied to someone; it is work the person does. That sounds obvious and is not, because it is exactly where most questions about a “cure” stall.
Why people with NPD rarely seek treatment
This is the part that tends to frustrate whoever asked the original question.
Some of the symptoms of the picture itself reduce the willingness to ask for help. The person may not recognise there is a problem, or may recognise it and feel that admitting it is a threat. The more severe the symptoms, the less likely the person is to seek treatment on their own (Cleveland Clinic).
Once treatment starts, dropping out is common: people with the disorder have a higher risk of leaving therapy partway through (Cleveland Clinic). It is often a stressful event, a separation, a loss of status, a diagnosis, that makes the symptoms appear in full and brings the person to the consulting room (Cleveland Clinic).
None of this is under your control. You cannot want the treatment for the other person, and you cannot create the involvement it requires.
Living with the dynamic
If you got here because of someone else, this is the section that matters.
The work available to you does not depend on the other person changing. It is about recovering your own reading of reality after a period of doubting it; understanding how the coexistence has been shaping what has come to feel normal; and rebuilding limits that are sustainable, with or without the relationship.
That does not require a diagnosis of the other person, and it does not require waiting for a change that may not come. If the coexistence is costing you sleep, concentration, or your ties to other people, that cost is already reason enough to seek support.
For the next step, see how to deal with a narcissist, on boundaries and self-protection day to day, and toxic relationship, on what the coexistence produces and how to take the first steps safely. If you want to understand how this kind of support works in practice, before deciding anything, see how the process works.
Frequently asked questions
Can a narcissist change on their own?
A narcissistic trait can flex over a lifetime, sometimes without therapy, usually in the face of a relationship or a setback that demands a different stance. For the disorder, sustained change without treatment is rare, and it never happens because someone outside the room decided it was time.
Does couples therapy fix it?
Couples therapy can help change the dynamic between the two people and make communication less destructive. It does not treat one partner’s personality disorder, and it should not be used as a substitute for individual treatment where that is the situation.
How long does treatment take?
There is no set timeframe. Treatment for personality disorders is long term, measured in years rather than months, and the pace depends on the person’s involvement. Any promise of a quick result for this kind of picture is a warning sign.
Can you force someone into treatment?
Not usefully. You can get someone to an appointment, but you cannot produce the involvement treatment requires. What is within your reach is looking after the effect the coexistence is having on you.
About the author
Fabio Morus is a behavioural therapist and hypnotherapist in Jersey, Channel Islands, focusing on anxiety, phobias, and panic disorder. He trained in Neuro-Systemic Hypnotherapy (Brazilian Institute of Hypnosis), CBT (Beck Institute), and EMDR (EMDR Association UK), and holds a Master’s in Addiction Studies. He sees clients online in Portuguese and English, and in person in Jersey. See the full training on the About page.
This content is informational and does not substitute clinical assessment, diagnosis, or professional treatment. Nothing here allows you to diagnose another person. If you are in intense distress or having thoughts of harming yourself, contact an emergency service or, in the UK, call Samaritans on 116 123 (free, 24 hours). In Jersey, the crisis line is +44 (0)1534 445290. If you are elsewhere, contact your local emergency services.
